Eurovision is almost here!!!

I make no apologies for my excited child-like behaviour around this time of year. It's true, I'm a little ball of excitement who's just about ready to burst.

While most people get excited for Christmas or birthdays, I get excited about Eurovision !


Ever since I was little I have loved Eurovision. As I've grown older the joy of the whole Eurovision period has only grown with me. I'm not sure why, maybe it's the coming together of nations that tugs at my heartstrings, maybe it's learning different styles of music or possibly the pure anticipation of announcements of the entries, the dates I can finally count down to and of course waiting to find out who will be crowned the winner.

I normally know the words of every song a fair while before the final. I know facts about the performers, the theme of that particular year. I get to choose my own personal favourites that way.


There are so many things that you would never think you would see or hear, good and bad... example last years winner Conchita Wurst aka The bearded lady (I kid you not) was the centre of attention for obvious reasons. However she won the hearts of everyone with her genuine charm and honesty and of course with her song 'Rise like a Phoenix' which suited her perfectly and she became the winner of Eurovision 2014 for Austria.



This year will be the 60th year of Eurovision... 60th! ... Am amazing achievement in itself to run successfully for such a long period. However they do like to shake things up and this year is no exception as Australia are joining Eurovision this year as a one off (exciting stuff!) .. But they aren't in Europe ? ..Nope they aren't but they have a love for Eurovision like no other and are totally 'stoked' to be taking part. Personally I hope they do really well.

Eurovision has changed a lot over the last 5 years or so. It has ditched its 'cheesy' reputation and has become a very serious yet fun competition. It is in a totally different league to your regular singing contests.

The UK entry has not yet been announced BUT we have a date !! (YAY). On March the 7th the person representing us will be revealed... I can't wait.

Soon enough I will be sat on my couch with a variation of snacks awaiting the Eurovision theme tune along with my partner who begrudgingly watches it with me (though he secretly gets excited too, I know he does).

I will be doing a follow up blog when the UK entry is announced. Until then I will somehow have to stay composed (should be easy , right ?) ... 11 days to go ! xx

Got milk ? ..... erm NO !

I struggled with breastfeeding, as most Mums do, my struggle was a little different though.

It all started when I found out I was pregnant with Harry (My 4th). I had breastfed before , my daughter Lilly (2nd) was combi fed for 6 weeks I stopped because of agonizing pain, I was gutted and yet relieved. It was later discovered that a part of my placenta had become lodged and that's why I was in so much pain, my body was constantly trying to expel it, on top of my womb contracting while breastfeeding it made a monstrous combination.

So when I found out I was pregnant with Harry I decided to give it another shot, the memories of pain from my last attempt had faded just like the pain of labour does.
Que reading every book , asking every question, watching every video, joining every group I could, all on breastfeeding.

On the 7th of July 2013 (5 days past due date and also on my birthday) Harry decided it was time to meet us at 10:39am weighing 7lb 1oz... As soon as he was born he was put onto my chest, he was perfect ! .. I fell instantly in love.

The midwife told me to let him root and a few minutes later he managed to latch on himself.
The next day we were allowed to go home, breastfeeding was going well he was feeding every 4 hours. I was so please that it was going well, that I could feed my child with milk that I, yes I could make... just for him.

The next day I was .. well .... OUCH !
I  was in so much pain, I was chapped, cracked and burning. I thought, 'I need cream or something'. So I called my breastfeeding buddy (an experienced breastfeeding mother who volunteered to help new mothers breastfeed) she told me 'I don't recommend cream at all, it serves no purpose'  she told me to continue feeding , it would get easier.
The more I fed him the worse it got until eventually after a few hours I just couldn't do it anymore. I was in too much pain to even latch him on... I cried and fed him formula. I thought it's ok tomorrow I will go and get some cream and give them a few hours to heal a bit and we will try again.

So the next morning bright and early I went to get some cream, it did help a massive amount 'WHY oh why did I not get cream before!' I was kicking myself. By that evening I tried to feed Harry again, it was painful but we did it, yay we were back on track!

Feeding continued for a few days until the 5th day where Harry would no longer settle after a feed, he was feeding constantly and would scream if I even unlatched him for a bathroom break. This of course was making me sore again. He then began to scream while latched, like there was nothing left for him to take. I was aware my milk hadn't come in yet (the longest time this had ever taken for me)
I called my GP (there was no way I was trusting the breastfeeding buddy again) and they said they would send a nurse out to check on everything. 3 hours later Harry had screamed himself to sleep, I felt awful  . The nurse arrived, seeing Harry fast asleep, (probably dreaming about a full tummy for once haha) I thought ' now she thinks I'm exaggerating and over reacting because look how peaceful my little boy looks now' (despite this being the first time he had stopped screaming all day). After the nurse left I put Harry down to get a few minutes to stretch my legs. No sooner did I put him down he began to scream. This continued until the next evening. Feeling guilty and upset I gave Harry some formula and he guzzled 4oz and cried for more, we gave him another ounce and he fell fast asleep. He woke up a few hours later, happy and content. This is the first time I'd seen Harry this content since the day he was born.

I accepted that I will have to supplement with formula while I figured something out. I called lactation consultants and spoke to a lot of other breastfeeding mums who all seemed a bit confused too, everyone told me just keep going. I thought, I would if he wasn't constantly screaming with hunger.

Over the next few days I went to the Dr's who gave me Domperidone (An anti-sickness medication with a side-effect of creating breast milk. Used to help mothers boost their supply).
I got a bulk of herbal tea and drank a litre a day.
I made lactation cookies.
I bought a breast pump and used this after Harry fed while he was having formula.
I did a lot of skin to skin.

My milk eventually came in on day 8 but still didn't seem enough for Harry. He still seemed like he wasn't getting anything after 30 seconds.

For the next few weeks we concentrated on boosting my supply as much as we could, we discovered Harry had tongue and lip tie which would make it harder for him to latch properly and the effects were him not getting milk efficiently and getting frustrated. As I well knew a hungry frustrated little boy wasn't a good combination with a low breast milk supply. At times it seemed that we were destined to fail. I upped the amount of herbs I was taking and the Dr allowed me to take the highest dose of Domperidone. Despite it all, my supply didn't change.

After 3 months a different breastfeeding buddy came to see us and was very helpful and kind, she was truly amazing! Why couldn't I have had someone like her in the first place ?
Unfortunately.. it was all a little too late.

On our last night of breastfeeding I broke down in tears, we had been going now for three months. The first 3 months of my baby boy's life I spent, frustrated, guilty, feeling like failure and I realised none of them were good for me or him. Then I thought, If I give up I will regret it , I know I will. I handed Harry to his Daddy for a feed and that was it... Breastfeeding was over.

I felt ... broken, very very broken. After all this was the one thing as a mother I should have been able to do. I wanted to do it, I wanted to give my baby the best, I wanted to feel pride when he grew I knew it was all because of me. I had fought so hard, spent the last 3 months of my life feeding, pumping, drinking herbal tea, feeding, pumping....

I didn't really know what to do to stop this feeling. Nothing I could do now could change it. I was filled with regret 'what if I had just carried on? It might have just worked.. eventually'.

I kept most of these feelings to myself, eventually they began to pass. The main reason for this - I had discovered baby wearing and my baby was a happy chappy once again, He loved to be held close, snuggled into mummy. I loved having him so close too, I felt like this was our special time now. Yes, it had replaced the breastfeeding and over time I felt less guilt and less failure.

I realised, I had formula fed 3 other babies and they were all happy and healthy and I didn't feel like I had failed them at all, it was really odd and still to this day I couldn't tell you why I felt such strong feelings of failure and regret and a tiny part of me does still wish I had still soldiered on... but Harry is now a happy, healthy 1 and a half year old and I love him to pieces and he loves me in return.....In the end, That's all that matters ! xx

Kye turns 4 !!

We have a birthday in our house this week ... On Friday 20th February Kye turns 4 !


That's right our little comedian is growing up. He's obviously really excited, as are we, though I'm a little gutted he's growing up on me. As mentioned Kye is my funny man, he has a certain charm to him that can bring a whole room to their knees with laughter. I hope as he grows year after year this charm only grows with him.

Kye was born at 2:33pm on the 2Oth February 2011  weighing in at 7lb 4oz .. our biggest baby !

Kye has always been the kind of person who takes things at his own pace, when he was younger I worried how much he wasn't meeting his milestones on time but after a while I realised he just likes to take his time with things after all there was no rush. This taught me a valuable lesson, to let children grow as they like without pushing them all the time.

My smiley little man :)

As Kye grew up , we noticed that people seemed to be drawn to him. Honestly everyone who meets him always comments how they just adore him.

Even in pictures he manages to make people laugh !

 

He's always been a cheeky chap :p

 



At around 3 years old Kye started to gain interests in a lot of various things, such as climbing, bugs (we have had a number of woodlouse pets, the last one was called Kevin!)  and D.I.Y.



Kye helping daddy

Kye with Fred the worm

He loves school, though his uniform is still huge, it won't be long until I'm buying the next size up *sigh* ... He also loves Spiderman, dinosaurs, dolls and baths.

He hates peas, clothes and hates it when mummy puts his 'pets' outside (mean mummy!)

For his birthday this year he only asked for sweets , no toys .. which was new for me as I'm normally used to getting a list as long as Rapunzel's hair from my older children haha.

I think I'm still relieved he hasn't ask for an ant farm yet!

I just hope this next year Kye doesn't grow up too much on me. He still likes squishy snuggles and 'really really big' kisses.

Yet this morning he commented on the coffee maker as its was pouring coffee saying 'Wow that's absolutely insane' :o.. where did that come from ?

 I just want to keep him like this forever ! But it's been amazing watching him grow so far and I can't wait for the next year of laughter with my little charmer.


To my little boy I hope you have an amazing 4th birthday ! xx



Happy birthday Kye ! xx

Love is in the air !

So I thought with Valentines day approaching what better to talk about then love.

Love comes in all different shapes and sizes and is shown in a number of different ways. It's confusing, exciting, unexpected and sometimes unwanted.

Falling in love.

Falling in love, I think, is the easy part. Some people fall in love at first sight, for me it takes a little longer but when it happened I sure knew about it. My belly churned, I became extra nervous which was odd because I had just begun to feel comfortable in my relationship. I faffed with my hair more, second guessed my outfit choices and thought more carefully when I spoke. I'm not sure why, but all of a sudden I had a fear that maybe he wouldn't feel the same after all you are offering up something precious and rejection would be a devastation.

Expectations of love.

I think this is the harshest, we have all grown up seeing love stories. There are millions of books, films, poems .. etc... all about love and how they lived happily ever after. In reality it just doesn't work like that, yes we all search for the perfect person for us, our Prince Eric or our Romeo but the truth is he'll be a real person and he won't be perfect, just like you're not.

Being in love.

Being in love is hard ! ... If you're in love alone I don't envy you at all. It's full of pain and a feeling of rejection but hopefully someone, someday will come along and mend your broken heart. If you are a couple in love, that's great.. most of the time .. Love is hard work though and it does need to be handled carefully, after all two hearts are at risk of breaking here. It has amazing upsides though and it's definitely worth all the work. It's a place you can feel safe, happy and most of all knowing that someone loves you for just being yourself. You have both accepted each others imperfections and your expectations for each other are now realistic. It's a great place to be.

My favourite love quote: And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. ~ Good will hunting (Sean) 


Falling out of love.

Sometimes mutual but often not, when either two people or just one person in a relationship decides that they no longer love the other person. It's sad really but a common reality.

The unconditional love.

This is my favourite love, the love where you will be hurt, upset, angry .. but your love is never ending. This is the kind of love you have for family, mainly your children because no matter how much they mess up they have a guaranteed forgiveness. This love steals your heart instantly and even if you could get it back, you would never want to. I believe this to be the only form of true love.

 

 

So despite the hurt, rejection and fear of love... It's always worth the risk. Go for it ! ... I hope you have an amazing day with the people you love xx

Parenthood the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

So this is it...  you've been feeling off for a few weeks or maybe just Aunt flo didn't visit this month Either way you're either hoping or expecting to see 2 lines... 2 lines who knew they could be so exciting, scary and daunting all at the same time. Whether you have been trying or not those 2 lines will change your world forever.

 



When I found out with my 1st I felt over the moon followed immediately with worry, after all I was stepping into the unknown.

Over the next few weeks I found myself observing mothers more closely, the ones looking joyful pushing their babies down the street, the ones looking stressed trying to get their toddler to 'GET OFF THE FLOOR'! Then the ones like me, still holding their bundle inside trying to imagine what kind of mother they will be ? Are they ready ? Will they cope when they are attempting to coax their child off the floor ? ... Stepping into the unknown is a scary experience for anyone but this is your child, you can't get this wrong ... I'm here to say YOU WILL ! ... yes you will make mistakes (lots of them) but you will learn and you will adjust. Parenthood isn't like what it is in pictures, there are so many choices, so many things that despite reading every book ever written about parenthood you just don't have the answer to. You might even ask other mummy friends or even your own mother for advice only to find you are bombarded with views, opinions, techniques, which at times can be pretty overwhelming. There will be times when you think I just can't do it.

 

But hang in there, it gets better, soon you will be a self proclaimed super mum. You will be able multi task like no other doing six things at once and still look calm and collected. Other people will say 'how do you do it' ? and you know that it came with practise and experience, you did eventually adjust and you have this feeling inside, a warmth of passion, a passion to do your best, a passion to teach others your tips and tricks for getting the 8 month old who's been screaming for the last hour to finally go to sleep. Parents will now come to you for help because you've been there. They know you won't judge as you remember what it was like to be out of ideas.

So yes one day you will be the mother coaxing her child off the floor and you'll handle it, because it's your job!

The rollercoaster of parenthood is nothing short of manic but eventually you will not only adjust to it you will embrace it. You will have never before experienced stress, exhaustion, upset and frustration like it but you would also have never felt as proud, happy or strong either

Then someday, some of us like to go through the whole experience again. After all parenthood is nothing short of magical and an amazing experience, one that will steal your heart for ever and make you cry with joy at the tiniest of things... so buckle up, hold on tight and be ready for the ride of your life ! xx

 

They are worth every tear, every doubt and every grey hair. They give me the best memories that I will cherish forever xx

Be happy, It's healthy

I took a lot of time thinking about what to talk about next. I thought about things that are worth sharing... So naturally I picked the thing that helped me most and what's best is that it's possible for everyone to do, anyone who wants to.

So, what is this magical thing that changed my life ?

My own mind - positive thinking.

I know I know, it sounds easier said then done and you're right! Its not easy and it takes a while but it is really worth it.

Look for a silver lining.

No, not everything is going to have one for instance a giant unexpected bill through the door never puts a smile on any ones face (besides the company who issued it).

But in most cases they are pretty simple to find when you get used to looking. For example, it's been a long day, people have bumping into you left, right and centre, you have and overwhelming list of things to do and all you want to do is go home and sit down with you favourite cup of coffee to ease the stress of the day. So on your way home you go to the local store to get your favourite coffee, but they have none - great a wasted journey! ... or is it ?
Maybe try a different coffee , something new , something spontaneous. I know but your coffee is familiar, you can count on it to not let you down, you have used the same one for 3 years. Why change what doesn't need changing ?

Because change can be good when we get stuck in our ways, maybe you could find an even better coffee and even nicer one and yes this doesn't just work with coffee ;).

You matter too

Most people (especially parents) are so busy doing everything for everyone else. That they forget they have needs too. Even if they remember they have needs too they have gotten into a process of choosing to get more things done rather then taking 5 minutes for themselves. Find some calm in the storm, even if its just 10 seconds to stand and think 'I've got this' and breathe.


Stop punishing yourself

Yes you, stop it ! ... I used to do this a lot, every time I hadn't managed to get something done on time or I had physically ran out of energy to do it, I'd somehow justify being angry at myself for it and my overall mood would plummet. I think this is the hardest one to change but over all the most effective. So you didn't get time to stitch up your 5 year olds doll and she is now upset with you, you are only human. If you plan to do something and don't get round to it - shrug it off.


Be you

You are you it's as simple as that. Yes you make mistakes, you are clumsy and you say things you don't mean sometimes but doesn't everyone ? ... Enjoy being imperfect, the silliest of mistakes now will be a great giggle in the future. I once put my brand new phone in the bin and my bread in the microwave (yes, it was one of THOSE days).. it took me ages to find my phone and when I was brainstorming that my 2 year old must have climbed out of his highchair hid my phone and climbed back in to his highchair, I realised for a short while I'd totally lost it haha! ... See now I can laugh at it :).


Overall, don't put to much pressure on yourself always try to find the calm whether it's reading a good book, enjoying a hot cup of tea, running or gardening.. just take time for you. Love your imperfections as we all have them anyway <3

Introduction !

So I'm finally taking the plunge ... I'm a newbie blogger !

I'm Aleisha (snot wiper, nappy changer, juice maker, referee, serial snuggler , boo boo kisser and of course Mummy). I like cooking, painting and 'lobster baths' . I dislike messy areas, bad hair days and FEET! (except tiny baby feet).

 Hi!

My little Monsters:

I have 4 babies aged 7,5,3 and 1. They drive me nuts but are my everything ! They keep me on my toes, constantly teaching me that it's the simple things in life that matter the most. They make me happy, sad, proud, frustrated, giddy, worried, it's a total rollercoaster BUT its a rollercoaster I NEVER want to get off. I love the bad times (the lovely art work they do ... on the walls.... and also when they decide to have a make-over with sudocrem -ahh the joys)  because they make you appreciate the good times (the random kisses and the I love you's). They help you forget the crayon coloured walls and the smothered in sudocrem -omg where didn't you get it- moments.

Kayl (7)

Kayl born 27th August 2007 at 2:18am- 6lb 10oz



Kayl is a giddy, energetic, bouncy little boy. He loves problem solving, gaming, eating (seriously he has hallow legs!) anything to do with cars and water. He dislikes rules (lol) getting out of the bath and onions.

Lilly (5)

 

Lilly born 20th April 2009 at 4:04pm - 6lb 6oz

 Lilly is a very relaxed, polite and calming little lady. She loves reading, watching films and singing. She dislikes most food (unless it's Yorkshire puddings), boys (quoted) and the rain.

Kye (3, almost 4)

 



Kye born 20th February 2011 at 2:33pm - 7lb 4oz


 



Kye is very funny, loving, mischievous and a total charmer. He honestly adds a lot of fun to my world, genuinely having me keeling over laughing (the real belly giggles). He likes painting, colouring and worms/bugs, he dislikes clothes (I have a nudist!), waiting and having his hair brushed.

Harry (1)

 

Harry born 7th July 2013 at 10:39am - 7lb 1oz

 

Harry is a cheeky, rebellious and loving little boy. He likes biscuits, cars and toy story. He dislikes people in his space, wearing shoes and me shutting the toilet door (so he can't throw things down the loo).

 

And last ... but not least...

 

Ste - the other half
 







Ste is my biggest child ;). We have been together for 9 years (yes, he's still alive - just about) We met online and for the 1st year of our relationship we lived 90 miles apart but somehow made it work. We became pregnant 11 months in with Kayl ... and the rest is history. Ste likes gaming, D.I.Y and my cooking ;). He dislikes ... To be honest not much.

 

And there you have it, this is us !... my crazy family, who drive me nuts but who I wouldn't change for the world.