Like any new Mum I was grateful for some advice but a lot of it went against my own instincts and the worst thing was a lot of it came from Health Visitors. Now I'm not saying don't take any advice but I am saying that if it goes against what you want for your child then ignore it.
Human's are mammals, though we are very different from most other mammals. Our babies are very immature they do not know how to walk, defend themselves and many other things that most mammals do a lot sooner. This is why a human baby has an instinct to be close to it's mother, there is a reason babies smell so gorgeous it's to be held close the same reason why they can smell their mother. It's very clever really. Problems can quickly arise when you get good old grandma telling you 'Put that baby down, you'll spoil it' along side 'You'll make a rod for your own back' not so subtly followed by 'Back in my day when a baby slept we put it down'.
Now these are opinions of one way of mothering and if this way works for you then great. However if you are (like me) one of those mothers who didn't want to put my baby down, I wanted him close even when he was sleeping , then that's fine too and ignore anyone else who tells you to go against your own instinct to hold your baby.
Constantly telling a new Mum don't do it this way, do this, don't worry about him crying a little it's good for his lungs. YOU are NOT helping. What you are doing is making that new mother lose her confidence. When you and your opinions are no longer around she will second guess herself with everything and feel like she can't do it. That she's always messing up.
So the next time you are around a new Mum please think before you speak. Words have power , sometimes a lot more power then you think. So support her, praise her and reassure her and enjoy cooing over the new baby. It's a beautiful time and a treasured memory.
As for you Mums, Mum-to-be's and future Mums - Trust yourself you know more then you think you do xx
